I grow up at a farm, raised by my grandparents somewhere in Transylvania’s mountains. I was surrounded by animals my entire childhood. Aside from the values added as companions, since i was a child i also understood the effect animals have on humans emotions. They were my best friends for many years.
One of my fist memories is from early childhood, i was 4, standing in front of 2 bulls in an abrupt valley as a guardian. My grandfather left me for over an hour with clear instructions not to permit the bulls to move as would have risk to loose the back load, while he had to go back and recover a lost item. While listening to his words carefully, i felt all the trust he was infusing into me, he addressed his words with calm and certainty, encouraging me that i can do it. There was no doubt. While watching him moving away, i realized that the sun was almost down and the darkness will come out soon. The bulls horns were to high for me to reach, so i was holding myself on the bulls head, looking deep into their large black eyes. An amazing feeling of tranquility installed immediately. In that hour spent standing still in the darkness, i felt capable to defy any obstacles, i was calm and serene at all time. There was no anxiety, no fear or worry as the trust my grandfather inspired me with, reached deep inside me and acted as a barrier. The animals were not my enemies or attackers, they were my companions, my friends. The trust was mutual and needed no words.
The bulls have not moved an inch that night and neither did I – but my Soul had conquered it all.
The fear is an illusion, that trembling electric feeling running through the body is created as a defense mechanism by our mind with the intended role to preserve our survival. Children have no fear, they continuously try and fail numerous times with a natural courage coming from within. As adults, we live on guard, expecting at all time to be attacked, so the resistance to trust, faith or courage is at all time activated.
Once we begin to see life from another angle, with the innocence of a child that believes he can succeed in anything, in any conditions as a genuine certitude, the original pattern we carry in our mind will change. All we need to do is to start surrender the fears, the worries and anxieties, doubts and panics to God and let go… Other emotions and feelings will be pumping out and these are the real outcome that we get out of the fears and anxieties. Can be guilt, shame, humiliation or sin, but remember that all are related together.
Have patience with yourself, take each emotion by itself. In aloneness meditate on that fear. Look the fear in the eyes and let it run through your body, you will get to know its roots. Ask yourself from where is that fear coming? What is the energy that feeds it? How does it benefits you and how does it influence your life? Answer to each question with complete honesty, be aware and do not suppress the emotions that emerge, do not suppress, whenever, whatever energy may arise within you, do not fight back. “Because, remember, there is no greater energy than knowing, and there is no greater stupidity than fighting with one’s own energies” Osho.
I have always felt that no fight can be fought alone, even more a battle. Trust in God, pray and ask for guidance and it will come! All the weights will collapse and your Soul will feel free and easy.